Hello my lovelies,
Today is a very special day for my blog.
My little baby turned six today!
I can not believe how fast years go by! It seems like yesterday..opening my blog for the first time. Not knowing anything about it at all. Grab a coffee or tea, and make yourself comfortable. I am not sure how long this post will be. I will try to cut the story short just for you :) But there are simply too many things I want to talk about that I just don't know how to start :P
Angelica started out as a complete hobby in the late September, 2010. I took the name from the song that I was obsessed with, at that time, by a band I really like. It is Angelica by Anathema. I started using it as pseudonym long time before, in my high school, and it remained as my blog name until today.
I always liked photography and writing, so I felt the need to create my own space, combining these two things. I enjoyed the idea of designing my little corner, where I can write anything I want, anything that occupies me. I have always loved writing. Even as a little kid, I used to write poems. I wrote a lot of the poems in my primary school, and I my poems were selected and published in the books.
I still love writing. It is my huge passion! I think I have a vision for some lyrics that I get late at night, or sometimes I simply wake up in the middle of the night, with the idea of the theme and concept.
That side of me is transcended into the band, but the part of it is the part of the blogging process as well. I do not write much when it comes to fashion blog posts. I rather write when it comes to beauty & lifestyle.
I really felt the need to open the blog, and I googled some words, when finally realizing I can create my own space. There are no posts shown in 2010, as I mainly wrote about the things I like. Things that inspire me. I deleted most of them.
In the beginning, the hardest part was learning about the confusing software, html and coding. I did not use any tutorials, I learned all of it by myself. I had a clear vision of what I wanted my blog to look like, but getting there was a nightmare. It still is. The clear vision I had back then has changed over the years, but never have I had any chance to make my blog look exactly like I want to. People have teams that work on their blog. But not me. I design my web, I take pictures, I edit them, I answer on hundreds of mails, etc.
Here comes even the hardest part for me. I love photography so much, but loving something so much and not being able to do it by any means can literally kill you. What a paradox that I could not afford any at that time. I wished to take pictures and post them as my little story or some kind of picture diary, but I did not have any camera. So I wrote about my personal likes for one year.
In 2011 I got very poor digital camera from my older sister. I was as happy as a human being can be. I started taking pictures. I could finally make picture posts.
But then comes the huge disappointment as well. As any other creative perfectionist, I soon got very sad because I was not satisfied with the camera quality and the pictures I had imagined. I saw posts in my head, but could not turn them into reality. So, I kept saying to myself, keep doing this. You love this. You can not quit because you can not afford better camera. Keep going, and everything will fall into place.
So I kept going. But I was never ever satisfied with the pictures I posted. I could not afford web designer who will create the look for my blog, exactly like I imagined it. I could not take pictures exactly as I imagined it. But that is not the reason to quit!
Norman Mailer, a writer, once said that every one of his books has killed him a little more. That is the case with me as well. Every one of my posts has killed me a little more. Every lyric or a song I wrote has killed me a little more (but that is a part of another story, connected to my band, and I will write about it soon, when our album is out).
So, I truly believe that creativity and suffering are deeply linked. And damn, Ernest Hemingway was right. Writing (or creating something out of nothing) is 'easy'. All you do is sit down and bleed.
It is literally that easy.
Six years later, a lot has happened. I met a lot of other bloggers, I learned about the blog scene much more! The blog has blossomed to something I feel very proud of. I got a lot of comments from all over the world. Not a single day passes, that I do not wake up without receiving e mails and messages from all of you. Wonderful messages, that keep me going through the hard time of my blogging business.
Even though my blog is not the perfect fit to the design and themes I imagine, it is still my baby, growing with me, and creating wonderful moments that I will always remember. There are not enough words to describe how hard it has been, how hard I worked on this, but that is not what matters. What matters is that I do what I love. It is my passion, and I keep it going. No matter how, but I keep it going.
Do not be surprised by the layout and the overall look of my blog in the future, because it may not look like it looks now. But it is definitely going to look like I wanted it to look for years. I have that clear vision inside my head for ages. I can not make it happen now, but I am working hard to get there.
Not having the best camera in the world will not stop me from taking pictures. I will redesign everything when the time comes. The perfectionist and aesthetic in me will kill me in the end, but at least, I have done what I love.
Taking pictures of beautiful places, people, details mean so much to me. I always loved to capture each moment, and the possibility to get back in that moment, by just looking at a certain picture. Those memories and the possibility to have visual representation of the moment will keep me sentimental and always excited about new projects and collaborations.
I am more than happy to be having this blog for six years now, creating my picture diary, and sharing my baking creations, beauty routines, make up, lifestyle in general. I always keep a smile on my face while sitting in my miniature apartment, imagining how one day, I will be sitting in much bigger house as an old lady, looking at my blog, getting older with me, and sharing all those happy memories.
I am thankful for all the collaborations, all the people I have met during this journey, and I am more than excited to be doing this still, and hoping for the best in the future. At least, I am working my ass off to make it happen.
What is your favourite post by Angelica?
Write me down in the comments for how much do you follow Angelica?
Hugs and kisses